Catch-Up Time/Frustrations

This weekend we FINALLY had a weekend at home with nothing planned. This was huge for us. We were only home 4 weekends this whole summer, and I think only 2 of those we had no plans.

This weekend was a great time for R&R, and also some catch up. Friday night we went to HuHot, which is quickly becoming my favorite restaurant. Seriously, all you can eat stir fry, customized by you? It's really awesome. Saturday we cleaned the house and got groceries. That night we had Panera and rented Adventureland. It wasn't a very good movie. I had a Blockbuster gift card from a few years ago, so I used the last of it on the movie. I then decided that $4.99 to keep a movie for 2 days is a waste of money and finally signed up for Netflix.

Today was my catch up day for work stuff. On Tuesday of this past week, I finally taught the "Improving Online Communication" session. I had a breakthrough before Labor Day and decided to use our online course evals as data. I analyzed them for comments related to "Communication" and then placed in specific categories. From there I made several suggestions for improving communication within those categories, both from research and just things I've picked up from my job. It was very prelimary, but gave me something to work with. I was so pumped that I thought, maybe I should apply for a doctoral program in education. I realized I actually really enjoy studying communication in online courses, and I think there is a lot of potential for other areas of research. Most importantly, I did this all myself. I had the motivation to work on this myself, and I didn't have an advisor or mentor to help. That told me that maybe I really could do this EdD/PhD thing...

Today, I attempted to sit down and actually write up the paper that I will submit to Central States. Ugh. Now I remember why I DIDN'T go on to UWM last year. I really hate writing research papers! The lit review went ok, but I feel like there is so much research I haven't found yet, that it could take me another year before I could find it all. My method section was a train wreck. I know what I did, and its a loose form of Content Analysis, but its not really an official "published" method. I wasn't even sure how to phrase my method. For those readers not familiar with the academic world, most critiques of research come from methods. I could just imagine presenting my paper at a conference and everyone laughing at me about how my method was so flawed. That's what we did in grad school classes - critiqued methods.

Granted, this is a much more qualitative piece, and my background is in Quantitative methods. So naturally, I'm trying to write it as if its a quant. piece. Perhaps I'm way overthinking this, and maybe I can just organize it as an inductive piece. But then, since I know nothing about how to actually do qualitative methods, all the qualitative people will laugh at me. Or, my paper will just be rejected all together. The parts of my study that REALLY matter is the results and discussion anyway. That part I already have outlined, and those are the communication tips and tricks for online instructors. Overall, I just got a bit overwhelmed and just quit working on it. I'm not exactly even sure if its worth picking up again. I have no incentive for finishing it or presenting it, this was completely my thing. If it's going to cause stress and frustration, is it really worth it?

Then I thought that maybe the doctoral degree wasn't for me after all...the same conclusion I came to in April 2008 when we decided to move to Iowa instead of Milwaukee. I don't like how research has so many rules. I would rather read and do stuff like I did on Tuesday for fun, without having to conform to specific rules so I can present at a conference or be published.

So now I'm going to put the paper on hold for another week and continue doing stuff I LOVE to do...building and developing my online computer and communication courses. I'm so close to being done with computers. Everytime I think I'm done, I think of something else cool that I can do. Strangely enough though, I never get bored or frustrated with it.

So this entry contained a lot of frustration vents, and most of you probably have no idea what I'm talking about and think I'm crazy. If you are still reading, you deserve a cookie. Go get one now...

Back to working on the office next weekend. We are going to paint it blue and the plan is to add a bunch of shelving on the walls.

We did buy some stuff for the dining room from Yankee. They had a whole section of holders and accessories devoted to wine. We bought a plate and two tea light holders. I would like to show pics, but the Yankee Candle website doesn't have them. Must be store only.

Hope everyone has a great week!